Boot Camp

(Note: This was actually written a few nights ago, but I just got around to posting it)

 

So tonight I had one of those nights where I started out really beating myself up, but ended up laughing at myself. Tonight I tried Boot Camp. And it was hard. I have a job where I sit at a computer all day and when I get home I usually watch DVDs. That’ been my life for the last decade or so. Yeah. Boot Camp was a shock to the system. I was slow. I was uncoordinated. I felt stupid. I felt like throwing up and passing out and we were barely into the class. I was on the verge of tears. Then I changed my mind.

It’s very easy to be too hard on yourself. That’s why I am so hard on myself all the time. I know I’m not the only one. When you are doing something that you are not particularly good at or not really suited for it is a few very easy steps from “this is difficult” to “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do anything!” And yeah, I hate to admit it, but I went there tonight.

And then I stepped back from there (thank goodness – pulling myself back from being overly negative is something else I’m not that good at). I actually realised how ridiculous I was being. Of course I’m the worst person in the class! This is my first time at boot camp. This is the first time I’ve done any running whatsoever since high school. Even then I couldn’t do push ups. I knew this would be really, really hard. But the idea that somehow being unskilled in this one thing will cause me to be deficient in other areas that I have always excelled in is utterly ludicrous. Think about it .I should note that I was helped a lot by the teacher being very nice and telling me to just go at my own pace.

I went looking for the positives: I was trying something new. And I saw it through to the end. I didn’t give up and quit just because it was hard. That already puts me ahead of most people. That is something to be proud of. (Ok, so, it was only a one-hour class, but still – the urge to sit down and not get back up is strong in this one.)

At the end of the night – so what if I’m not great at running, doing push-ups, squats, sit-ups and so on? I was never going to be an athlete. It was never a goal, never a passion, never even a hobby of mine. So what difference could it possibly make if I’m not really good at it? None whatsoever.

I was reminded of a quote:

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its life feeling stupid*.

0h, in case you were wondering – I will keep going to the class. I won’t ever be stellar but I will do better next time. And I’ll keep getting better, because that’s what practice does for you. And also, despite what you might think after all of the above, I actually had fun!

 

 

*This seems to be attributed to Einstein but there is also some debate at that.